The existence of this day is a myth. Last year, the most divorces were filed one day in April when the new no fault divorce process went live. Many couples had been waiting for this change in the law so that they didn’t have to file a petition containing allegations blaming their spouse for the breakdown of the marriage.

It is true to say that there is an increase in the amount of divorces filed with the court after the Christmas holidays but often because people delay filing for divorce in the weeks leading up to Christmas. However, we also see this happen after the summer holidays where a couple will often hold off progressing a divorce until after the school holidays.

Christmas can be stressful enough without adding relationship breakdown to the list of things that families have to manage and cope with at this time of year. If in January you are thinking of separating from your partner and/or considering filing for divorce what sort of things should you be thinking of first?

1.      Give yourself time to think, be sure that a separation and/or divorce is what you want

2.      Are you sure the relationship is over? Could any form of relationship counselling help you discuss and resolve the issues that are leading you to think that the relationship may be over?

3.      Make sure you have a good support network around you. There are also some excellent divorce coaches who can provide good support if you need it.

4.      If you have children, what do you think needs to be done to protect them as much as possible from any conflict?

5.      Gather as much information as possible about all of the different options available to you to help you sort out the issues that need to be resolved as part of your separation/divorce. The main issues often involve sorting out the finances and, if you have children, what the future co-parenting plan will be. You do not have to go to court now to resolve these issues. Lawyers can help you reach an agreement or you could consider using mediation or arbitration. Obtain as much information as you can about these options so that you can make an informed decision about which option is right for you.

6.      Write down all the questions you have so that when you have decided which professional you would like to work with you can ask them about all the things that are worrying you or playing on your mind.

7.      Contact a number of professionals and request a free initial no obligation call so that you can speak them and see who you think you would like to work with moving forward. It is important that you feel that you can talk to them and trust them to help you sort everything out.

At Family Mediation and Mentoring we specialise in helping couples reach amicable agreements, reduce legal fees and stay out of court. We use the mediation process to do this and we can, if necessary, involve lawyers in the process as well. We are also qualified to meet with children in cases where it is appropriate to give them a voice in the process.

If you would like to discuss how family mediation can help you reach an agreement and stay out of court call us on 0800 206 2258 or book a call via the book now page or our website or email us at hello@familymandm.co.uk You may like to have a read of some of the pages of our website that contains lots of helpful information and links to other organisations who can provide support and information too – www.familymediationandmentoring.co.uk

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